Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Marlowe and the Marlownados

Wow. It's been so long, I've forgotten how to do this.

Where were we...oh, right, who cares?

While the title of this post sounds like a 50s Doo-wop band, it is not. It is merely a description of the most recent atmospheric phenomenon in my life: the wreckage left by a 9 month old puppy, namely, Marlowe (The Marlinator) Acer Nelcinski, DOB: 12/24/2010, date acquired: mid-February 2011.

So, how did this cute, adorable, fuzz-bucket of a beast, become the cause for so much trouble?

Hmmmm...a full set of chompers, puppy-like energy, and apparently a lot of office-supplies and household goods that needed modification. But let's back up.

So, it all began with a puppy cam. Conceptually, we had been discussing a friend for The Salty One for quite some time, especially now that she's subjected to heat more often than not (we are a family of humidity-haters, longing for temperate zones the world over) and she doesn't get to get as salty as she once did. While we all loved long walks on North Beach, they are no more, and we haven't found a suitable replacement--one where dogs can run and people can walk until they pretty much get tired or run out of daylight. So sad. So, there was the puppy cam with an adorable litter of piggy-like fluff-balls and 2 months later our "Dog Conceptual Model" became reality, thanks to a great rescue organization called New Spirit 4 Aussie Rescue. Now the dogs outnumber people (at least in terms of legs).

The Salty One took no shit at first--she really taught The Marlinator a thing or two about being a dog: no chewing shoes, no jumping on furniture, and don't you dare eat my food, you little puppy twit. She was the consummate "helper dog" if ever there was one. But it seems, as of late, she has tired of the enforcement role (after all, she has proved her position as alpha dog), all the while enhancing her position as A#1 playmate (don't tell her we know, but we have seen her egging on The Marlinator on many occasions--she likes to play coy, but we see what's really going on).

This role, understandably, takes a lot of energy.

So, while we made it through 8.5 months with nary an issue, even in the last two months when he was at-large for whole work-days, and we passed two obedience classes with flying colors, our sweet, little guy has decided to bring out his inner devil. Really? Really?

And as a result, we have had one Marlownado after another this week.

First, there was the attack of the orange Post-It notes. While artfully displayed around the living room, it wasn't really clear what he was trying to remind himself of.

Next came the attack of the two-way tape. Unfortunately, no photo evidence was obtained from that event; however, the suspect was quickly apprehended when the investigators noticed several lengths of said tape stuck to various parts of his body (poetic justice?). This event also resulted in the untimely demise of some slippers and the Bose remote control (which I'm sure can be replaced at an insurmountable cost, sticking with the typical Bose M.O.). 

A 45-minute errand led to complete and total destruction of the NY Times sports section. It was as if he was beginning a paper mache project (thanks, Dad) and needed the bits of paper chopped up all nice and bite-sized. Note the irony of the empty dog crate in the background of this picture! Haha...joke's on us.

And, most recently, the up-ending of a handbag resulted in the shredding of several tissues and the destruction of lip balm and hand cream--both of which were seemingly consumed during the process. Should be a fun night.

So, there you have it. After recovering from Hurricane Irene and the resulting dismantling of the refrigerator and freezer due to almost 6 days without power, so thankful to escape the fate of fallen trees and household damage, we are now struck by episodic Marlownados. Methinks the young lad hath earned himself solitary confinement in a dog crate for a few weeks (minimum sentence due to lack of value of the objects destroyed)!

That aside, the fact of the matter is, he is an entertaining, lovable, little guy, with an endearing wonky ear and some limbs and a body he hasn't quite fully grown into yet (will he ever?). He loves all people and seemingly loves other dogs, and most of all, has the same exuberance we so admire in his older sister. He enjoys eating bugs, playing fetch, cuddling up for a nice nap and I'm sure eventually, he too, will like long walks on the beach. Also, like his sister, squirrels just drive him crazy!

Written by request for my #1 Fan.


jb said...

Hilarious! and I loved reading it! keep the blog going!

MEK said...

Is the Marlownado restricted to your area or have they touched down in other places?